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Joke of the Day

"So Tiger will be back for The Masters? I was really hoping he'd wait until The Player's Championship. The man's comedic timing is terrible."

"I read quantum physics magazines for the particles."

"Father: "" I know the answer to your bad grades. You're spending too much time watching television."" Son: "" I'm sorry you'll have to phrase that in the form of a question."""

"You really shouldn't label sandwiches, I mean they have a right to exist in a world without labels and judgements just like everyone else."

"What kind of book did Frankenstein's monster like to read? One with a cemetery plot."

"If hillary nukes Russia I can see the headlines now ""Everyone in Moscow commits suicide"""

"""How much ice does it take to preserve a dead body?"" *I ask on twitter because googling it gets people caught."

"Two hipsters walk into a bar. The first did it before it was cool. The second did it ironically."

"The Mohel Did ya know that Mohels don't get paid? They only take tips."

"Babies are just people that haven't hurt your feelings yet."