142168

Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross a Mexican cholo and an ill tempered Irishman? ... a surprisingly stable person; according to my Homie O'Statis."

"How can you lose around 10 pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head."

"[sees woman reading] ""Gone With The Wind? Great book! I love how the *clenches fist* tornado takes Dorothy & Toto to the Land Of Oz."""

"""This tweet isn't funny yet. Welp, better remove all the commas and capital letters! Ah, PERFECTION!"" --me"

"Why do women close their eyes during sex? They hate to see men have a good time."

"What's the fastest way to drive through Louisiana? Drive the route with Les Miles! ... I'll see myself out."

"What's the difference between a washing machine and a virgin? A washing machine doesn't follow the guy around for 2 weeks after he drops a load in it."

"I'm so high, I just tried to Google ""My favorite songs""."

"Just stuck my tongue in an outlet. The results were shocking."

"An Eskimo is holidaying in New Zealand.. His car breaks down. A Kiwi stops to help, opens the bonnet, and says ""Bro, you've blown a seal"" To which the Eskimo responds ""so what mate, you fuck sheep!"""