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Joke of the Day

"[sees woman reading] ""Gone With The Wind? Great book! I love how the *clenches fist* tornado takes Dorothy & Toto to the Land Of Oz."""

"Startle and amuse your cat by replacing its kitty litter with Poprocks. (Ladies: feel free to share this idea on your pinny website thing.)"

"No one in here better be making any jokes about Fred Phelps' death God hates gags."

"Did you hear they're making a holistic version of Star Wars? It's based on darth vadar's holistic brother, Ayur Veder."

"I have a work fetish I never come too late."

"What is Shakespeare's favourite writing utensil? I don't know, but it was either 2B or not 2B."

"She said we needed to talk and... I said, ""Yeah, I think we should break up, too."" She said, ""About where to eat."" ""Oh,"" I said, ""Pizza?"""

"Seriously, get off the computer once in a while... smell the roses... volunteer... show your balls to a turtle... make a ham fort..."

"Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Cause the it would be a foot!"

"If you're behind someone at an ATM late night, let them know you're not a threat by giving them a gentle kiss on their neck."