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Joke of the Day

"What's the fastest way to drive through Louisiana? Drive the route with Les Miles! ... I'll see myself out."

"What do you call a dictionary on drugs? High definition."

"Whats the difference between a tractor and a giraffe? (first ever post in a year on reddit!) One has hydraulics and the other high bollocks! Brilliantly told by my Irish cousin."

"I'm about two tissues away from shoving a tampon up my nose."

"""As first lady you would be responsible for the White House china. Any thoughts?"" MELANIA TRUMP: Oh, Donald says he's getting rid of China"

"The first rule of Fight Club is till death do us part."

"I was born with blonde hair and blue eyes My parents named me Michael but I totally looked like a Ryan"

"LASSIE: Arf! What's that girl? Timmy's in the old well? L: Arf arf He's dead? You sure? L: Arf! Okay here's a check for $5K L: ima need cash"

"What did God say when he created the first black person? ""Dammit I burnt one!"""

"What do you call a boat full of Karma? An Upboat."