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Joke of the Day

"I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That's 7 years in a row now."

"What's the similarities between Las Vegas and Manchester? You can pay for the prostitutes using chips"

"I don't need a tat to look hard. Just a pic of your mom..."

"TIL Every animal has its own specific mating call A bird sings, a frog croaks, a badger clickets, a grasshopper chirps, a deer croons, and I beg."

"Listen lady, you have 2 options. Either make your baby stop eyeballing me, or she & I can go outside to settle this."

"What can you use to fill your butt crack? Ass-fault"

"What does Amtrak have in common with Tom Cruise? They both like to go off the rails Edit: On a side note, I hope all of the passengers, and crew are ok, and recover quickly"

"If a plane from California crashes in a cemetery in Montana where are the survivors buried?"

"What do vegetarian zombies eat? GRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!"

"You was sent back to earth from hell becasuse the devil choked on your soul."