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Joke of the Day

"Listen lady, you have 2 options. Either make your baby stop eyeballing me, or she & I can go outside to settle this."

"What do you call a clown eating a mushroom? Jeff"

"Falling in love is just like falling down a well, except one is dank, dark and scary, and can really hurt you, and the other is a well."

"I was gonna vote for trump . . . but now i'm kinda on the Pence about it."

"Ronda Rousey walks into a bar... and gets knocked the fuck out"

"Every time I fold laundry I contemplate becoming a nudist. Then I remember what I look like naked and keep folding...."

"I changed my password to ""incorrect"" So when I forget it my computer will tell me ""your password is incorrect"""

"I asked my wife what my rapper name should be. She suggested, ""2-PAAQ"" 2 pumps and a quiver. :'("

"""Check out Zach Galifinapkins over here!"" - joke I have prepared if I ever see a bearded man holding a lot of napkins."

"I sincerely hope Trump does become President Because at least Australian Politics won't be the butt of every joke anymore. Sincerely, still a rather embarrassed Australian citizen."