142012

Joke of the Day

"They call them ""reality shows"" but none of them are about drunk people scrolling through meaningless crap on the internet all night."

"YouTube: hey we saw u watched a video about a thing Me: great, would it be possible to fill my entire feed with that thing, forever?"

"How frustrating would it be if you turned into a zombie before you had a chance to put your dentures in?"

"Eat food with the fridge open in front of the other food to establish dominance as well as prepare for the next feeding."

"Hey, you funny fellows, what are some nonchalant jokes to tell people that do not sound like a joke at first? I need to impress my friends with Internet stuff, gosh."

"Why does a chicken coupe have two doors? Because if it had four it would be a chicken sedan."

"Was watching golden globes this morning. The next door neighbbour was sunbathing topless in the garden."

"hello 911? yes do you think i'm pretty"

"If women are people, why are they so stupid? Seriously. Even the smartest and most accomplished women are dumber than the most retarded head lice."

"My son asked what it was like to be a parent so I begged him to make me chicken nuggets and then held on to his leg so he couldn't move."