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Joke of the Day

"hello 911? yes do you think i'm pretty"

"I'd never compare people I don't like to Hitler, but the people who make the little ""x"" button impossible to find on pop-up ads are Hitler."

"Remember when teachers asked to lie quietly with your head on your desk? My boss has yet to be impressed with this skill."

"I'm constantly amazed that only 26 letters in the alphabet can produce so much bullshit."

"Magic School Bus Movie Don't get your hopes up"

"My gf thinks I cook our meals cause I love her. Really, it's cause I'm afraid she might try to poison me."

"A Hydrogen atom suddenly exclaimed: ""I think I just lost my electron!"" ""Are you sure?"" Asked its friend, ""Yes"" replied the first, ""I'm positive."""

"Why do ladies prefer 77 over 69? Because it's eight more."

"Eating out This one time I was eating this chick, then all the sudden I tasted horse cum. I was like, damn grandma, that's how you died."

"Why suicidal people are usually skinny because most likely, they haven't eaten in years."