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Joke of the Day

"If women are people, why are they so stupid? Seriously. Even the smartest and most accomplished women are dumber than the most retarded head lice."

"Got drunk and did my taxes, i am getting back 1 zillion dollars, 2 slaves, and somehow the state of Rhode Island, this can't be right."

"This is a dark one! A black baby, pickle and a blender. what do you get? A Nickle!"

"I have so much pubic hair I can start a cattle ranch"

"If you leave your iphone unattended I will tell Siri to kill you in your sleep."

"Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn't make the cut."

"Does anyone know a cure for excessive ear wax. If you do, please give me a shout."

"How many trolls does it take to read a joke. None. They get chumps like you to do it. CHUMPS."

"A murderer sitting in the electric chair was about to be executed. ""Have you any last requests? asked the chaplain. ""Yes"" replied the murderer. ""Will you hold my hand?"""

"My greatest contribution to most situations is just not making it worse."