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Joke of the Day

"Who's the first Jewish guy to get a Heisman Trophy? ""Fred Goldman, because he's got mine!"" - OJ Simpson"

"Sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs"

"An orchestra one-liner I popped off my g-string while fingering a minor"

"I got a book for Hanukkah today It was the diary of Anne Frank"

"There are 2 things I love about women... Tits"

"Today at work, at my desk, my boss offered me a handjob... It's okay though, I'm self employed."

"My GF begged me to stop singing Linkin Park I tried so hard."

"I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office."

"Cancer research scientists have grown human vocal cords in a Petri dish. The results speak for themselves.."

"I've stopped texting ""K"" and started texting ""L"" instead so I don't have to reach so far over with my thumb."