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Joke of the Day

"Today at work, at my desk, my boss offered me a handjob... It's okay though, I'm self employed."

"I had to fire my tennis doubles partner today. I told him his services were no longer required."

"Have you ever met that one guy you really want to punch in the face? Turns out punching a mirror is painful for your hand."

"Why was the Energizer Bunny tried in court? He was charged with battery."

"ATMs should have built in breathalyzers. I would save so much money"

"Hello everyone this is your pilot speaking. If u look out the windows on your left youll see some fish. This is the worst Ive ever messed up"

"Why did the GameCube controller get off the boat? Because he got a little c-stick."

"This idiot from Apple reckons that the ""Temperature, iPhone needs to cool down"" warning message has nothing to do with all my hot selfies"

"What did Chuck Norris told his father when he left home for college? You are the man of the house now."

"people say Einstein dropped out of school and still was a genius but he didn't drop out to drink fireball and start a band this is important"