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Joke of the Day
"How much do deodorant factory workers get paid? A pittance."
Next Joke
"Girl walks into a bar... ...and asks the bartender for a double entendre. So he GAVE it to her."
"What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breath idiot, breath!"
"A man goes to the vet about his dog's fleas. The vet says: 'I'm sorry, I'll have to put this dog down.' The man is incredulous and asks why. The vet says: 'Because he's far too heavy.'"
"How do you know if a girl is on her period? Shut up!"
"How do you make a journalist laugh? By giving them ar-ticles!"
"Name dog. Call dog every derivative of that name but the actual name."
"Friend: What happened? 15yo me: *arm in a sling* Got hit by 2 buses. Friend: What happened? 37yo me: *in a full body cast* I sneezed weird."
"Why did Blitzkrieg work so well in France? Because lightning always follows the path of least resistance"
"My mate in Scotland reckons his scrotum got to -273 degrees last night. I reckon that's absolute bollocks"