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Joke of the Day

"What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breath idiot, breath!"

"What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 50 pounds."

"My husband's safe word is 'CRAMP!'"

"Self-promoting on the walls of a public bathroom is weird but always having the Sharpie on hand is weirder. Anyway for a good time call me."

"How many livers do people have? I want to make sure I have a backup before I put this thing on Ebay."

"Why do gay men always have candles near their asses? So the gerbils can find their way out."

"Going back to work in 10 mins. When I'm back, this better be front page, Reddit."

"What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman can go to the store without Robin."

"The physics teacher break up with the biology teacher Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry."

"""Your resume says weaknesses: hide & seek"" Yeah ""Can you demonstrate?"" Sure, count to 10 *Counts to 10 & opens eyes* *I'm literally on fire*"