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Joke of the Day

"Arnold Schwarzenegger PC upgrade Few years ago someone asked Arnold Schwarzenegger to upgrade his PC to windows 7. He said I still love vista, baby"

"*brushes teeth for seventeen hours straight before dentist appointment* ""Jessica, there is an entire Oreo behind your second molar."""

"I bought a pair of shoes off my drug dealer... And they must have been laced with something, cause I've been tripping all day."

"I hate watching termites. They're boring."

"Hubby's head seems like it's almost twice the size of mine. We are never having children."

"I went to a General Store the other day. Couldn't find anything specific."

"Why did the Cephalopod get coal for christmas? Because he was on the nautilust."

"Why did the incarcerated 12 year old furiously jerk off in jail? He was hoping for an early release"

"What do you call a town in the middle of the Arctic Ocean? An Iceburgh."

"I've done a lot of volunteer work for unwed mothers. Just helping them get their start."