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Joke of the Day

"Do you want to hear a Knock Knock joke? Okay, you start it."

"What do you call a clever pig? Cunningham"

"A curious tradition -- to look at a newborn baby and say to yourself, ""Because of your DNA, one day you will rule over me."""

"Put the punchline in the title Do you know what the best way to ruin a joke is?"

"Life is like a box of chocolates... It's expensive, you don't like half of it, and sometimes you can give the whole thing to a woman and she still wont have sex with you."

"My biggest complaint about Batman v Superman is how the movie always just assumes you know which one is which."

"The tree and the wind. What does a tree say after it gets knocked over by the wind? I went out on a limb."

"While in bed, my girlfriend said, ""OMG it's so large!"" Problem is, I'm a serious arachnophobe, and it was right next to me."

"Your mama is so fat..... Your daddy proposed to her with an onion ring."

"Who was the 45th Vice President of the United States? [Warning: Gore]"