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Joke of the Day
"why wouldn't the black pencil write on the white paper? it was erase-ist"
Next Joke
"I'm surprised more people don't Photoshop a cleaner house into the background of their pictures."
"""if our love was a tweet, i'd fav, RT and 'gram a screen grab, bae."" - modern vows"
"Say ""beer can"" out loud in a British accent. It sounds like you're saying ""bacon"" in a Jamaican accent!"
"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my cock up your ass."
"E-Mail: Drive her wild in the bedroom. Me: Feh...I'll drive her wild in the kitchen *Re-arranges the dishwasher."
"Let your girlfriend know how much you love her by screeching loudly like a pterodactyl whenever she talks."
"Romney likes Costco. So much that he bought 3."
"[Turing Test] Tester: Let's start with an easy one, the square root of 29241? Subject: 171! Tester: Subject: I meant, idk math is hard. lol"
"Joe, why haven't you tossed your hat in the ring for the presidential election? I'm Biden my time."