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Joke of the Day
"The best part of being a supervillain is the freedom to laugh maniacally at all times"
Next Joke
"Cat: ""What did you get him for his birthday?"" Dog: ""Pant . . . pant!"" Cat: ""Great . . . he needs a pair of pants!"""
"I dont mind you texting during a movie as long as you dont mind me creeping in your bedroom at 3am & doing Gangnam Style w a pack of hyenas."
"[Noah's Ark] Noah: How will the animals reproduce? God: You took a male & female, right? Noah: YOU SAID BRING 2 YOU DIDN'T SAY 1 OF EACH SEX"
"Fireman: Is anyone else inside the house? Me: Uh yes..my son is trapped in my room he- [fireman charges into blaze] ..HE LOOKS LIKE AN XBOX"
"Hillary Clinton is a strong woman who doesn't need Bill. Besides, the FBI has been fingering her for a while now."
"American... .. history"
"Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer, the bartender says, ""Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here."" He doesn't react."
"What Did Kid Davis Say To The Lesbian Melons? you cantaloupe. i just thought of this. probably not the first person to, but i certainly didn't steal it."
"Went to McDonald's and ordered a Happy Meal .... didn't work ... still grumpy."