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Joke of the Day

"My son is explaining why my daughter is crying but I'm not buying it as I don't think she can even say, ""Please kick me in the face""."

"What's the difference between r/circlejerk and r/The_Donald? No really. What is it?"

"They told me to dress for the job I want, not for the job I have. They fired me the next day because I dressed for a blowjob. I'll show myself out..."

"When you send food back to the kitchen, you're basically saying, ""Can you have the chef rub his genitals on this please."""

"You know what's better than having roses on your piano? Having tulips on your organ!"

"Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected"

"Boob. B (top view) oo (front view) b (side view)"

"I win all of my breakups by not getting fat."

"Why did the sperm cross the road? I wore the wrong socks."

"What do you call a sunburnt santa? Crisp Cringle"