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Joke of the Day

"They told me to dress for the job I want, not for the job I have. They fired me the next day because I dressed for a blowjob. I'll show myself out..."

"I like my sex like I like my barbeque, mesquite"

"What's invisible and fucks kids? The Zika virus."

"Barber: What would you like today? Me: Make me look attractive. Barber: CAROL! CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS!"

"Nothing has ever bothered me as much as my recent realization that I have never seen bird testicles."

"A bear is asking a rabbit a question ""Don't you have problems with shit sticking on your smooth fur?"" Rabbit goes : Naaah, I don't have a problem with that. So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit."

"Universities are like priests They will teach you a few things, and then take you into the back room to fuck you."

"It would be easier to keep my New Year's resolution to accept and forgive people if they'd stop being the same jerks they were last year."

"What happens to illegally parked frogs? They get toad away."

"There was a man so poor and broke... That when someone stole his wallet, the robber went bankrupt."