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Joke of the Day

"I have a joke about pizza and a broken pencil unfortunately it's cheesy and pointless"

"Why do they evacuate women and children first? You can't fix shit with all that screaming and crying. (**Yes, you can evacuate people.** Check #2 here: http://www.dictionary.com/browse/evacuate)"

"*takes picture of son putting ornament on the tree* Okay, now give that back to mommy and don't touch another one, okay?"

"Picking which colour pen to use.... Its always a bic decision"

"Past, Present, and Future walk into a bar. It was tense."

"What does an IT guy use for birth control? His personality."

"Joke of the Day 6/12/14 The other day, I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up,and I said "" Did you get my drift?""."

"This guy poured his box of raisinets directly into his bag of popcorn at the movie counter. After my initial shock I bowed to him."

"I hate colored pencils. I'd rather dye than use them."

"NARRATOR: When camping be wary of savage bears trying to take your food *camera pans to a bear holding glass of wine with a wtf expression"