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Joke of the Day

"What does an IT guy use for birth control? His personality."

"""Would you like to put your hand deep into this hole"" - Pokemon I know it says no outside links but it's necessary cause it's a screenshot of a poorly phrased event in Pokemon http://imgur.com/a/Zt8X6"

"What are parents that you can see through? Transparents"

"Honey, you know the part in The 6th Sense when she drops his wedding ring & you realize he's been dead the whole time? Well I want a divorce"

"With Trump and Hillary as your options North America, You really should have voted for Deez Nuts"

"My wife is so educated She has a PhD in yelling sciences."

"What did Bill Cosby call Donald Trump? A rookie."

"Why did the soccer player have to ask for a bib at the restaurant? Because he was Messi"

"YOU KNOW THE FUCKING DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PAUL WALKER AND MY COMPUTER? I ACTUALLY GIVE A FUCK WHEN MY COMPUTER CRASHES."

"We only cook with fresh, local ingredients so tonight we're grilling our neighbor's cat."