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Joke of the Day

"""And now it's time for Guess How Many Belly Rubs I Want! Remember, contestants, guess wrong and you get the claws!"" - Cat game shows"

"I really only know one thing about Ebola. For some reason, it makes you really wanna go to the airport."

"I'm addicted to Nun porn... It's a bad habit."

"Why did the baker rob the bank? He needed the dough."

"Why was 56 scared? Because 28 8 1."

"What is the origin of the word ""Boob""? The ""B"" is the aerial view, the ""oo"" is the front view, the ""b"" is the side view."

"""Is it long enough to reach most people's beds?"" ""Yes."" ""Perfect, make it a couple inches shorter."" -Apple, creating the iPhone charger."

"Secretly killing birds and making It look like a suicide - Windexter."

"I use to worry I was a nihilist... but then I realized I don't care."

"Have you ever gotten laid in a sleeping bag? It's horrible. You can't breathe, it's all sweaty, and your scoutmaster is covering your mouth."