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Joke of the Day

"They say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea... Does that mean that the other one enjoys it?"

"NSFW. What do you get when you mix a rooster with peanut butter? A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth."

"What's the difference between a necrophiliac and someone with a granny fetish? A couple of weeks"

"""Honey, am I fat?"" ""No, not at all"" ""You're lying"" ""I swear. By the way, you got something on your chin... no, the other one"""

"Why can't Ms. Piggy count to 70?? Because when she gets to 69 she has a Frog in her throat."

"First world problems: ""My fingers are frozen! I can't type!"" Third world problems: ""My fingers are frozen! I'll have to amputate them!"""

"No, 2013, you were not the worst year. But thank you for trying."

"[sees ghost in my room] Ghost: don't be scared Me: I'm not Ghost [points to wet patch]: you're a little scared Me [nervously]: oh no a ghost"

"Why did the calendar give up on life? Because he felt his days were numbered."

"Hiroshima was making rice krispies long before Kellogs. I'm going to hell for this."