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Joke of the Day

"Boss: You need to work on your puncuality. Me: Sorry, but commas, are hard, to place. Boss: ....?"

"I was watching tv with my mom & she was amazed a blind guy didn't care his son was missing & I was like outta sight outta mind am I right"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? The Road done him a bad turn."

"The nintendo 64 turned 18 last month Which means you can now legally blow the cartridges"

"Love it when moms refer to kids by age in tweets. ""6 fell down today"". Wonder if the kids do the opposite at school: ""33 is drunk again""."

"Two aerials meet on a roof fall in love get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant."

"How do you know your girlfriend is too young for you? You have to make airplane noises to put your dick in her mouth"

"What do you call a chicken takeover of the government? A coop."

"never hit a guy with glasses... hit him with a brick"

"Always carry a newspaper or magazine so you appear to be preoccupied. - stalker handbook page 2 paragraph 3"