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Joke of the Day

"What did the cow say after hearing butcher's joke? You are killin' me man!"

"Me: SPIDER! Brain: Nope, fluff. Me: SPIDER! Brain: That is a fly. Me: SPIDER!!! Brain: sigh. That's your hand idiot."

"What is the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? A pervert wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on his face."

"What did the tree say to the math teacher? Gee I'm a tree!"

"I got a puppy for my ex. Fair trade."

"Did you hear about the tight end who went to prison? He came out a wide receiver"

"You know you have an awesome bra... when you can do the entire Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes' song.... with just a slight adjustment of the shoulder straps!"

"Why does r/jokes smell like rotten eggs? Because it's full of bad yolks."

"I thought reverse psychology was when.. you made your therapist cry"

"How do you know you sister is on her period? Dad's cock tastes like blood."