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Joke of the Day

"[Me as a Realtor] BUYERS: this is a great house, what's the catch? ME: Well, it is a bit.. [cant think of the word haunted] ghost encrusted"

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"I'm pretty confident I can perform this Appendectomy on myself. Thanks YouTube"
"[being pushed into the middle of a dance circle] please, I have a family"
"NICE TO MEAT YOU, I scream as I throw slices of salami at strangers"
"Say ""Rise Up Lights"" out loud You just said ""Razor Blades"" in an Australian accent"
"The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch."
"A joke from Finland Q: What doesn't fit in your butt, and doesn't buzz? A: A Russian butt buzzer."
"LOOK AT HOW HE OUTGUNS ME http://xboxclips.com/Kolt+the+Don/f1dd03d5-32b3-4238-9134-393050b8d254"
"I'm white. But I'm not NASCAR fan white."
"Wi Fi doesn't work so well in the office. HR will need to talk to this lazy Vietnamese."
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