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Joke of the Day

"Why shouldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman."

"What's the difference between new cops and old cops? New Cops: Belly with abs. Old Cops: Belly with Fats."

"Q) What's worse than raining buckets? A) Hailing taxis!"

"I've officially started crossing my sevens when I write them. It's a fun, easy way to distract myself from the fact that I'll be dead soon!"

"I went to a nudist casino... ...I lost my shirt at the poker tables."

"The earthquake shortened Earth's day by 1.8 microseconds, so don't expect me to get everything done this week."

"New research shows that birthdays are good for your health Studies suggest that people with the most birthdays live the longest"

"needs to stop keeping the cocaine next to the coffee creamer. I screwed up again. drinking a cup now and it has that weird milky taste."

"My grandma keeps talking about her monthly checks, prescription drugs and how much she loves Miami. I think she's a rapper."

"Jesus, his disciples, Adolf Hitler and a group of Schutzstaffel walk into an empty bar... The bartender says, ""Man, this is great for business!"""