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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between new cops and old cops? New Cops: Belly with abs. Old Cops: Belly with Fats."

"Me: Did you hear that? Her: Go check it out Me: Are You Crazy? They always kill the good looking people first Her: You'll be alright"

"What does Bill Cosby and a ninja have in common? You don't see either one coming."

"Remember when all bombs looked like a black bowling ball with a giant wick in the top? Yep, simpler times."

"I'd like to tell you I can keep you safe Son but lets be realistic here, we're dealing with a closet that has a God damn monster in it."

"That awkward moment when you gently toss your phone on the bed and it bounces off 3 walls, breaks 2 lamps and kills a cat..."

"""Why don't you trust me?"", she texted both the guys simultaneously."

"Your girlfriend is so good in bed but can't do house chores. When your relatives complain you be like ""You guys don't know her very well"""

"What did the customer say to the barber after looking at a facial hair catalog? I moustache you a question about this style shown here, good sir."

"Donald Trump wrote a lot of books on business Most of them end on chapter 11"