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Joke of the Day

"I've officially started crossing my sevens when I write them. It's a fun, easy way to distract myself from the fact that I'll be dead soon!"

"I'll play duck-duck-goose and give all gooses. I don't give a duck."

"If all else fails, pretend you don't speak English."

"What's the difference between a Methodist and a Baptist? A Methodist will say ""hi"" to you at the liquor store"

"Fidel Castro was alive?"

"What are caterpillars afraid of? Doggerpillars."

"A chicken and an egg are laying in bed. The chicken pulls out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, upset, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and says, ""I guess we answered that question!"""

"What happens when a Jewish man with an erection walks into a wall? He breaks his nose."

"My friend said I twist everything to my advantage. I took it as a compliment."

"You look so young... what is your secret? I am fifteen."