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Joke of the Day

"What are the odds of a chronic gambler ever calling the addiction-helpline? No seriously, I've got $100 riding on this."

"What did one tower say to the other? I've got a plane to catch."

"Why did the vegetable kill himself? He didn't carrot all."

"What concert is worth 45 cents? 50 cent with Nickelback"

"Did you hear the joke about the dance? The punchline wasn't funny."

"Spoiler alert for the lady in this line, repeatedly asking her newborn 'what's wrong?' Its not gonna answer ya."

"Why does the French Military install rearview mirrors on their tanks? So that they can see the battle."

"I'd like two tickets, please. - Is it for The Hobbit? - No, she's my girlfriend."

"I'd rather see a guy with a machete walking towards me than someone with a clipboard."

"What do you call a Jewish man's scrotum? Goldman Sachs"