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Joke of the Day
"Why do melons always have traditional weddings? They cantaloupe."
Next Joke
"(Not a joke) The Aristocrats I'm sure all of you had different forms or variations of The Aristocrats, but what's the best one you guys have heard?"
"Home is anyplace where you don't have to wear pants."
"Think about something positive! What's the first thing that comes to your mind? My HIV test."
"What do you call a group of racist mathematicians? The K^3"
"A quick joke... Yesterday I went drinking with the Russians. I almost died. Today I went drinking with some Serbians. I wish I had died yesterday... :D"
"What do you call a Chameleon that cant change colors? A reptile dysfunction..."
"Mr. Jones, did you or did you not have an affair with the victim, Diana? ""No!"" Oh really. And what's your first name? ""Indiana"" [jury gasps]"
"why would you be a suicide bomber... And wait for the 72 virgins in heaven... When you could become a catholic preist and have them now! Source: Jimmy Carr"
"Detective: Where were you on the night- Me: Twitter Detective: Between the hour- Me: Twitter Detective: I wasn't fini- Me: Twitter"