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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend wants a chest freezer for Christmas... I said ""Why? It's cold as tits outside already!"""

"What so you call a bulldog mixed with a shih tzu? A bull shiht"

"What do you call a monster with two wooden heads? Edward Woodward."

"Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd.- the place in any American city where you can be sure to find racial tolerance and understanding."

"My coworker got third-degree burns on his tongue. I was going to make a joke about it, but decided it would be in poor taste."

"Russian shit Parent calls up to child: Quit stalling in the bathroom! Child calls back: I'm not Stalin, I'm Putin!"

"One of those people out there with protected tweets is your therapist passing your problems off as jokes."

"""Well guys, I gotta get going."" -Why? ""My wife hits me if I don't wash the dishes."" -And you *let* her hit you? ""OF COURSE NOT!!! I always wash them."""

"Seems like Hello Kitty should be a brand of condoms."

"What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers"