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Joke of the Day

"My coworker got third-degree burns on his tongue. I was going to make a joke about it, but decided it would be in poor taste."

Next Joke
 
"A guy walks into a bar with a gun and shouts ""Which one of you fuckers is reposting jokes on r/jokes?"" A voice from the back called out ""I don't think you have enough bullets m8."""
"98% of black people love having sex in showers The other 2% haven't been to prison yet"
"I got a tapeworm once back in the 80s. Now I have an mp3worm."
"[throws wine bottle into vineyard] ""Go, be with your family."""
"What is Dracula's pornstar name? Vlad the Impaler"
"Why the new Apple Pencil isn't included with the new iPad Pro. There is no point."
"You literally misuse the word ""literally"" every time you say it. And I figuratively want to punch you in the face. Literally."
"What do you call a root vegetable that spins on it's axis? A *rotato*..."
"I went to an ATM... I was at an ATM this morning and this older lady asked me to help check her balance, so I pushed her over."