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Joke of the Day

"I made homemade soup with the immersion blender, mostly so that I have something to talk about for the next five days."

"Now that ""twerking"" is in the Oxford dictionary, we probably can go back to grunting and hitting things to communicate."

"I have a dream... That one day handicap people will be able to park wherever they want."

"Sometimes if you say ""Wow, you're tall!"" to a tall person they realize they're tall for the first time and thank you with cash"

"My wife says we should spice up our sex life with some stuff from 50 Shades of Gray. First, she wants me to become a billionaire."

"Hold on I'm about to count my money. Alright I'm done."

"Why did the trio of Mexicans get arrested? Because they were trespassing!"

"I need a high resolution photo of Puff Daddy... ... so I can make my 1080P. Diddy joke."

"If you say ""cash money"" around me, Don't act surprised when I kick you in the ""balls nuts"" See how stupid that sounds?"

"I hate having to walk behind a car... It's exhausting."