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Joke of the Day

"Hold on I'm about to count my money. Alright I'm done."

"What's the difference between a Jew and Jewels? Jewels have 3 extra letters."

"When I ask my wife if she wants help, she changes the subject and asks if a bear shits in the woods, like I'm some sort of bear scientist."

"I'm not a liar. I have an English degree; I'm an unreliable narrator."

"Teacher: This is the third time I've had to tell you off this week what have you got to say about that? Pupil: Thank heavens it's Friday!"

"It's the story of Zip the penguin. It's a penguin, walking happily on the ice, and.... Ziiiiiiip the penguin!"

"What is the difference between jelly and jam? (NSFW) I can't jelly my cock down your mothers throat..."

"My mom should have been on a plane that crashed on 9/11 *I* think."

"Politicians are like diapers.... They must be changed often and for the same reason."

"What do you call a cheap circumcision?? A rip off"