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Joke of the Day

"Hold on I'm about to count my money. Alright I'm done."

"My ex told me I'd never find another woman like her. nnI don't think she was expecting the high 5 and happy dance I did right after."

"The craziest shit happened today. Then I just wiped it away and got on with my day."

"""OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD!Damn these thin walls. Don't know if my neighbors are having sex, praying or having a coronary."

"Killing spiders is easy and fulfilling if you imagine them whispering ""You look fat in those pants""."

"What does a arsonist and a bartender have in common? For special occasions, their cocktails are on the house."

"You can park your car anywhere you want as long as you turn on your emergency blinkers. It's one of the more obscure lifehacks out there"

"I checked my phone while I was mowing the lawn and now we don't have a garden."

"It was a rainy day, she had just left him and was walking back home... ""Nobody will find him there"" She thought as she walked."

"Boston walloped with snow again. If you think traffic is bad here... think about how bad it must be in Seattle with all those bandwagons falling over."