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Joke of the Day
"The only thing that stands between you and your goal is **Internet**"
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"Whoever invented the iPhone charge cord is probably the same shitlord who invented the Capri Sun pouch."
"Why do they call it ""Ben Folds Five""? Because he folds five penises and puts them into little drawers!"
"What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire :)"
"If you want your dreams to be as fascinating to other people as they are to you, don't mention it's a dream until the end of the story."
"What brand of pen does Lance Armstrong use? Uni-ball"
"This midlife crisis has a lot less bank heists and high speed car chases than I had imagined."
"What kind of noise annoys an oyster ? A noisy noise annoys an oyster ! (Try saying that fast!)"
"*Gandalf rollerblades into the club* ""YO DJ PLAY SOME DIRTY DUBSTE-- *slips on a drink & lands flat on face* ""SCRAP THAT CALL AN AMBULANCE"
"It seems kid of arbitrary that people want their skin to be tan and their teeth to be white. In Opposite Land, I must be a fuckin' hottie."