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Joke of the Day

"Why do they call it ""Ben Folds Five""? Because he folds five penises and puts them into little drawers!"

"The funniest thing about being sober is to realize you were so drunk last night you were tweeting all night with a calculator."

"What do you call a short psychic who's escaped from rehab? A small medium at large."

"Just once I'd like to see someone dropkick the guy grinning and waving behind the news reporter."

"Women jokes are not funny Period."

"What do you call a retired comedian? Comedy mold."

"What do you call a psychic midget who just escaped from prison? A small medium at large."

"What do you call a clown eating a mushroom? Jeff"

"Remember, people only rain on your parade because they're jealous of your sun & tired of their shade."

"No wonder 1% is so bad I got my raise, not even 1%, my bank don't even give close to 1%. But my taxes ---- **30%**."