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Joke of the Day
"This midlife crisis has a lot less bank heists and high speed car chases than I had imagined."
Next Joke
"Not silicone A woman got wooden breast implants. This would be so much funnier with a punchline, wooden tit?"
"Dropped my Ant Farm and now the rug is like the first 30-minutes of Saving Private Ryan."
"Why does Caitlyn Jenner feel like her kids see though her? I guess she is trans parent now Edit: *through"
"There's a new 12 step program for people who can't stop talking. On-and-on-anon."
"Is it just me... Or are circles pointless"
"Mom, is this skirt too short? Yes. Your balls are showing, Robert."
"2016 Denial 2017 Anger 2018 Bargaining 2019 Depression 2020 Acceptance"
"Pretty sure the guy who named them ""walkie talkies"" got fired before he could name other military equipment."
"I slammed the car door on my fingers this afternoon. In related news, there's an 83% chance that my nephew just added ""Mother*ucker"" to his vocabulary."