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Joke of the Day

"Wanna terrify a homeless dude? Dress as a grocery store clerk and pretend to scan all the stuff in his shopping cart"

"knock knock Knock knock? Who's there? King Tut King Tut who? King Tut Key Fried Chicken!"

"Have you heard the one about the agnostic with dyslexia and insomnia? He tossed and turned all night wondering if there was a dog"

"Miley Cyrus down at the post office lickin all the stamps. Mail lady says they're not even that kind of stamp anymore but Miley doesn't stop"

"""Mom?"" ""Yes?"" ""Are we having seafood for dinner?"" ""No, why?"" ""I heard Dad on the phone."" ""And?"" ""He said that he picked up a case of crabs."""

"I appreciate the transparency Domino's pizza tracker provides, but updates like ""Carl dropped your pizza"" & ""5 second rule"" are a bit much."

"Somebody called me a racist today! I mean I think they did, it's so hard to hear through these white hoods."

"what lives in a box and needs air? a U.S veteran."

"SJWs are the hardest people in the world to offend as long as you don't exist."

"Mathematically speaking, 9/11 was quite rational"