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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard the one about the agnostic with dyslexia and insomnia? He tossed and turned all night wondering if there was a dog"

"[Bob Dylan giving singing lessons] I'd like you to sing it again, but this time plug your nose and put these 5 marbles in your mouth."

"A Mexican, a Jew, and a black guy walk into a bar The bartender looks at them and says ""get the fuck outta here"""

"Co-worker: Did you see that play in the Super Bowl? Worst decision ever. Me: Really? Aren't you married?"

"Why did I spill root beer on a DNS server? Just because ICANN."

"FAA study of black boxes found in domestic US, fatal, small airplane crashes shows 98% say ""may day"" remaining 2% are pilots from Tennessee who say, ""hey good buddy, hold my beer and watch this"""

"I was wondering why the basketball was getting bigger. And then it hit me. It was because we were inflating it."

"A screwdriver walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Hey, we have a drink named after you!"" The Screwdriver responds, ""You have a drink named Murray?"""

"I just had to fire my Korean housekeeper... ...She kept trying to wok the dog."

"He told me he was my daddy during sex. Then he acted all weirded out when I started crying and asked him to pay off my student loans."