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Joke of the Day
"when it's april 2nd and she still pregnant"
Next Joke
"Very normal stages of anger: 1) kinda upset 2) crying 3) imagining yourself singing a revengeful song to them at a talent show"
"4 yo: Mommy, it feels so good. Me: What does? 4 yo: To be a gangster. Me: ... Go tell your father I said to come here."
"The other day I asked my wife to hand me the news paper. She said, ""Silly you, just use my Ipad.""... That spider had no fucking idea what hit it."
"I think walking in on my parents having sex would be less awkward than standing over your shoulder while you show me a YouTube video."
"They say every 2 out of 3 people live next door to a pedophile Not me, I live next to 2 smoking hot 8 year olds"
"What did the blind and deaf girl get for Christmas? Cancer."
"What does /r/funny and /r/jokes have in common? I laugh at neither of them."
"What is the biggest key when moving a piano up a flight of stairs? Be sharp or Be flat."
"Why did the Aggie call 911 in the car wash? - He thought he saw the rotating car washer as a tornado"