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Joke of the Day

"I think walking in on my parents having sex would be less awkward than standing over your shoulder while you show me a YouTube video."

"I'm not all that concerned about Celine Dion's recent losses. I'm pretty sure her heart will go on."

"I wanted to get a haircut today after work around 8:45... but they closed at 9, so that's cutting it close."

"What do you call an Ox with a gluten allergy? A silly-yak."

"I'm not an alcoholic... My liver is evil and it must be destroyed."

"What is the boogiemans favorite dance move? the boogie"

"What do you do if someone is having a seizure in the bathtub? Throw your laundry in."

"A mailman delivers mail, and a milkman delivers milk. I'm a lineman. **I deliver lines.**"

"Did you hear that the Department of Agriculture is outlawing round bales of hay? They claimed the cows weren't getting a square meal."

"Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards... ...creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?"