23654

Joke of the Day

"4 yo: Mommy, it feels so good. Me: What does? 4 yo: To be a gangster. Me: ... Go tell your father I said to come here."

"It is said the population of sheep in New Zealand is 60 Million. How did they stay awake to figure THAT one out?"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I've never paid 200 bucks to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Texan: So where you from? Harvard graduate: The kind of place where we don't end our sentences with prepositions. Texan: Where you from jackass?"

"I decided to see what it was like to live as a woman. So I sewed all the pockets of my jeans shut. EDIT: Corrected spelling."

"What does the train say as its heading toward Auschwitz? Jew-Jew!"

"A started a blog about ADHD... ...it's going to have recipes and I went to the Alamo."

"dddddddddd ddddddddd dddddddddd ddd ddddddd ddddd dddd Sorry my keyboard was broken. I fixed it by giving my keyboard some Prozac because it was d-pressed."

"When you're on a date that's not going well, just start talking about genital psoriasis. You're welcome."

"You can find true happiness inside yourself! Haha, almost had you. I'll meet you at the liquor store."