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Joke of the Day
"What's your favorite song?-Me, to a baby wearing a Metallica shirt at the grocery store."
Next Joke
"""We don't have iced coffee"" Me: ""You have coffee?"" ""Yes"" Me: ""You have ice?"" ""Yes"" Me: ""Were you raised in a barn?"""
"Clinton is so crooked... She needs a Kaine for support. (Credit to: /u/medically)"
"A blind guy walks into a bar... Then a table, a chair..."
"My boss told me to have a good day.. So I went home."
"This ATM will not give me free money no matter how many times I try the Konami Code."
"What kind of light makes the best US president? A blinkin' light"
"I drove my car into a river and watched it turn into a mobile phone... One minute, a Kia. Next minute, Nokia."
"Why are many electronics handbooks banned in Germany? diepole"
"Oddly enough, when ducks take pictures of themselves, they make the drunk sorority girl face."