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Joke of the Day
"Oddly enough, when ducks take pictures of themselves, they make the drunk sorority girl face."
Next Joke
"What do you call a punch-drunk Japanese person whose father has diarrhea? A slap-happy Jappy with a crap-happy pappy! I'll show myself out..."
"Just saw a bag of McDonalds in the street. Unsure how this will affect brand. Could be good (free advertising) or bad (no one was eating it)"
"I can't spell armugedon... But it's not the end of the world."
"What's the difference between Super Man and Spider Man ? Super Man wears his underwear over his pants.."
"If you can tell from my eye contact at the grocery store that I'm inviting you to race shopping carts, you're my kinda people."
"Kept nodding off at an estate auction and bought a garden gnome for 3 million dollars."
"What do you call a Muslim optician who doesn't give a fuck about his patients? Asif Eyecare"
"I'm glad I haven't seen any German sausage jokes.. they are just the wurst!"
"next time you feel depressed with yourself, remember that you're about 70% water & thats cool af"