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Joke of the Day

"""We don't have iced coffee"" Me: ""You have coffee?"" ""Yes"" Me: ""You have ice?"" ""Yes"" Me: ""Were you raised in a barn?"""

"Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mom."

"How do you stop a dog howling in the back of a car? Put him in the front."

"In all honesty, my new dating service, ""Well You're Not So Great Yourself"" hasn't really taken off like I'd hoped."

"Somewhere in Africa, a bunch of orphans are about to be running around in confederate flag shirts."

"I don't know why my Dad named me Hockey. He never calls me that, he just says ""Hey sport"""

"They should make an alarm clock that plays the sound of my dog about to throw up."

"Bully: This town isn't big enough for the 2 of us! Me: Oh yeah? Bully: Yeah! Me: Come at me bro *opens town expansion plan* and look at this"

"Who's the most badass flower salesman? Chuck Florist"

"No Grandma, ""sausage fest"" is not a new special breakfast at IHOP"