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Joke of the Day

"I was going to write a joke about taps... ...but I didn't want to faucet."

"Why does the Vanu Sovereignty hate plastic bags? They keep Terran."

"CNN: Trump removes screaming baby from rally Fox News: Trump rally interrupted by another unruly, entitled protestor who still lives at home"

"So I'm in a hotel and call the front desk saying, ""Hey! I gotta leak in the sink!"" The clerk says, ""Go ahead, the customer's always right..."" (Henny Youngman)"

"Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? They all have phones."

"I wanted to buy a patriotic decoration on my trip to China... but I worried the US customs officer would see it as a red flag."

"""Hey man, the hot girl from class winked at me today!"" ""Really, bro?"" ""Yeah, with both eyes too!"""

"You know what really brings out the child in me? Abortion."

"What's the worst thing about being black and jewish? Having to sit in the back of the oven."

"I don't hold grudges or plot for revenge, I will simply send a bunch of Jehovah's witnesses to your door...on a daily basis."