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Joke of the Day

"Why does the Vanu Sovereignty hate plastic bags? They keep Terran."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Burns ! Burns who ? Burns me up !"

"Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because if they live by the bay, they would be bagels!"

"I went all around town looking for an optometrist's office when, at long last, I found one. It was a site for sore eyes."

"What do you call a man with news paper down his pants Russel"

"Carl: Cold out night. Me: Tell me something I don't know. Carl: NASA found LSD improved spiders' ability to make webs. Me: Fair enough."

"Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Actually, never mind. I'll finish, you'll be thoroughly disappointed, and then I'll start crying."

"What's the difference between the NBA and a pint of Guinness? Nothing. They're both mostly black, with a little bit of white at the top."

"It's 2012 and we still don't serve all food in a bread bowl."

"I'm an adrenaline junkie and an agoraphobic. I talked to the mailman through the door once, that was a rush delivered. Edit: delivered."