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Joke of the Day

"What do we want? FLEXIBLE WORK SCHEDULES THAT ACCOMMODATE FAMILY LIFE! When do we want it? [Unintelligible yelling of different dates]"

"What did the terrorist's ghost say? BOOM!"

"What is the difference between 'light' and 'hard'? I can sleep with a light on."

"If Chris Brown played Quidditch, what position would he play? Beater"

"Do you know what Mexicans think about Trump's wall? Who cares, they'll get over it.."

"GARY BUSEY: I WANNA WRITE A BOOK HIS AGENT: gary that's a bad ideahow'd you feel about a ghost writer? GARY: SCARED AS HELL BUT I LIKE IT"

"My girlfriend asked me if I was a pedophile. I told her: ""That's a big word for a six year old!"""

"A police officer with integrity"

"Bookstores are a great place to meet women... ... But not so if your opening line is ""What does this word mean?"""

"I brought my cannibal friend over to a party... He sucked the life right out of it."