208027

Joke of the Day

"Bookstores are a great place to meet women... ... But not so if your opening line is ""What does this word mean?"""

"[breakup] Who should get the cat? ""I don't know...let's see who he loves the most"" {3 weeks later} Can you tell? ""Nope"""

"This hating of people that breastfeed in public really has to stop. I can raise my cat any way I want."

"What does a cyborg order at a diner? A Cyborger"

"Searching for porn gifs... Results be like, ""oh my go..."" ""oh my go..."" ""oh my go..."" ""oh my go..."""

"I've been reading a book about anti-gravity. Man, I just can't put this thing down."

"Q: Why does everyone love cats? - A: They're purr-fect!"

"If you can't tell the difference between a ladel and a spoon Then you're fat."

"What happens when you put a condom inside another condom? Conception"

"In my spare time, I help blind kids I mean the verb, not the adjective"